It Happened So Fast, I Nearly Missed It
by PristineCladestine
Summary: A simple narrative of speculation on Johnny's past before his full take-over.
1. Chapter 1

p class="p1"span class="s1"strongemPrologue/em/strong/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2"emI always wanted to understand Johnny's past. We are able to understand the organisms that took over his psyche through I Feel Sick, but we never received a fleshed out backstory to our anti-hero. I wanted to understand what happened to Johnny before we met him in his chapter one of Johnny the Homicidal Maniac./em/span/p  
p class="p2" /p  
p class="p1"span class="s2"em* Reverend Meat: Oh, it terrifies me that you wouldn't remember. Though, it's no surprise. You don't remember the pretty girl that gave me to you? Being in her room? Doing what you did? What she did to you?/em/span/p  
p class="p2" /p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"strongemIt Happened So Fast, I Nearly Missed It/em/strong/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2"Being afflicted with a mental illness is something that happens more often than the public at large is aware of. It carries a stigma so cursed, we don't speak of it./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2"Back, so far back, before it all began./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2"In those restless moments I fall asleep, sometimes I have visions of times past. When I awake, they disappear as if they've never existed. Just like me./span/p  
p class="p2"/***/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" "Here's my card, refill prescriptions, and all the papers you'll need in order to fill in a new psychiatrist about Johnny's condition. We'll fax them over, too. Just in case. Call us when you find someone." A comely middle-aged woman smiled and glanced at a young man sitting with his arms folded over his chest. "Please, don't hesitate to call if you need assistance."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" The boy was unmoved by her genial manner. He was wearing mostly black, and where there wasn't black there was white. Even his own body matched his clothes, palest skin seen on anyone who wasn't dead and dark hair that challenged the ebony keys of a piano. The two adults that sat to the sides of him were the opposite, besides their washed out pallor most likely due to stress./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" "Thank you, doctor. We didn't mean to be so abrupt about this. It just sort of happened." The man, most likely the father, folded his hands in a brooding manner./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" "I understand completely. Things happen." She rested her eyes on the boy again, "All we can do is keep trying to help Johnny as much as we can. That's what we're here for."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" "This means a lot to us. Once we land and get our heads on straight we'll look for a doctor right away." The skinny woman was wringing her handkerchief in her hands./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" "That would be for the best. Once you start seeing someone else, Johnny can start getting used to the surroundings and new faces and talk out any anxieties." She smiled again but the boy was still unaffected./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" "Johnny, do you have anything to say to the doctor?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" A silence filled the room from wall to wall./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" "Well, if anything comes up, you have my card." The doctor stood up and the two adults followed suit, they both were as skinny and tall as trees. "Please, I emphasize again, don't hesitate to call. Leave a message with the receptionist or on my answering machine." She shook their hands./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" The boy didn't stand up to shake hands, only to leave./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" "Good-bye, Johnny. Take care of yourself. Good luck." The doctor's face went grim as the family walked out the door. She meant everything she said and could only hope for the best from here on out. She looked out her window and waited to see the family get into their car. It was a silver polished compact car. The gleam of the windshield made her squint and when she opened her eyes fully again the car was out of the parking lot./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" A few miles felt like a stretch of forever. Right now, Johnny did not want to be in a small space such as a car. It was confining and made him breathe like a straightjacket was tightening around him. He could see it, the straps and buckles were tight and the jacket itself was old and overused. A few more twists and his arms would be free. Though old and tattered, he couldn't get away. Get free. He was panicking now. /span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" 'I can't get away. Stuck like this. Forever! For the rest of the ride.'/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" That's exactly what his parents wanted. What her parents wanted. Why would they do this to him? He didn't do anything wrong. It was a lie! He started to thrash about the backseat./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" "Johnny...? Johnny? JOHNNY! Oh, dear God. Pull over!"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" "Why? What's wrong?" An urgent tone fell off each world./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" "I don't know! I don't know! Oh, God, I don't know! Pull over!"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" The car quickly stopped, jolting the boy forward into the seat in front of him. His mother quickly reached in the back and undid his seatbelt. She took the boy's face in her hands and examined his face./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" Tears were gleaming from his eyes and he blankly stared into his mother's eyes, "You took off the straightjacket?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" "Wh-what? What straightjacket? There was no straightjacket."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" "The one that was put on me after we left the office."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" "Dear, there was no jacket." The mother's eyes were starting to water./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" The father was silent. His fists were clenching the steering wheel. If you looked closely at his face, you would be able to tell he too was on the verge of tears./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" "The jacket... the jacket... the old, tattered straightjacket..." He trailed off into muteness./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" His mother turned around and sunk down into her seat while his father took the car out of park and began to merge back into traffic. They'd have to make a mental note of this hallucination to tell the new psychiatrist./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" A trip that only takes fifteen minutes was twice that in duration today. A sense of relief and reluctance was felt amongst the whole family when they arrived. The "for sale" sign swung with a slight breeze. The father locked the car after they all got out and the mother checked the mailbox. But Johnny stood staring up at the house. It was an ordinary single house, two stories with a chimney and a porch. It wasn't extravagant, but what it lacked in lavishness it made up for in friendliness./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" "Johnny, honey, are you coming inside?" His mother had a worried tone and weary eyes./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" "In a minute." /span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" His mother waited a few more seconds and then walked inside. He stared into the house and looked it over and over, committing it to memory. He was born in this city, raised in this neighborhood, and grew up in this house. Everything changes once people think you're crazy. He sauntered inside, but right before the threshold, he snuck a glance at the house next door. The sun was setting and the lights turned on in the house next door. Lights not for him. Nothing was for him in this city anymore. He closed the door behind him and went upstairs to his room./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" The stairs squeaked and the floorboards creaked. Johnny moved to the attic for the space. He had his bedroom and his art studio. All walls were covered with graphite drawings. His bedroom was packed up in boxes, but he left his art for last. Gently, he unpinned the oversized pieces of paper. He stacked them on one another, and when they all were taken down, he retrieved his portfolio cases. All pieces had their place, except one. His art wasn't pleasant to most people and he'd even go so far to say it frightened at least half the people that viewed his work. But there was someone who understood his work, or at least understood why his art was so frightening. The same someone he had to leave this city for./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" "Johnny, dinner." His mother called up the stairs to him./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" "I'm not hungry."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" "You have to eat something."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" There was a pause. She always said the same thing even though time and time again he showed that eating wasn't an activity he had to partake in three times a day. Last night under this roof, why not eat?/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" "Fine."/span/p  
p class="p2"/***/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" Patient: Johnny C. 00/00/0000/span/p  
p class="p2" /p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" To whom it may concern:/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" This is Johnny C.'s in-patient papers for when he was in our hospital (please see business card). Johnny C. has been a patient here for approximately a year and due to circumstances out of our control, he is now moving. Please see to it you contact us right away when you take him on as a patient. /span/p  
p class="p2" /p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" height: 5'9" weight: 115 lbs/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" Patient was checked into a hospital his first year of college. Due to stress and environmental factors, he had a psychotic break on campus. College dismissed him on medical leave and parents checked him into hospital. Upon first conditional evaluation, Johnny is an intelligent and artistic young man. Report with college states he started to scream about voices and having hallucinations (first signs of schizophrenia noted) and had, what seems to be, a manic episode of non-stop drawing. Fearing his state after he threw supplies around his studio and scaring other students, he was dismissed on leave./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" A week of therapy and daily sessions with the doctor, patient seems to be stabilized. /span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" Another week of monitoring is necessary to see his reactions to the new medications (Rx noted)./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" Blood test results: no trace of any type of substances to alter chemicals in his mind (schizophrenia?), CLEAN/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" Gets along well with nurses and other patients, yet sometimes will have a short outburst. Patient can express remorse./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" Maintains low body weight due to insomnia and lack of being able to tell reality from a dream-state. Occasionally eats meals. (00/00/0000 - higher Rx of sleep-aid)/span/p  
p class="p2" /p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" Preparing for discharge: patient exhibits grasp of reality, situation, past, present, and what future therapies are needed to keep him stable. (00/00/0000 - higher Rx of sleep-aid, patient still doesn't sleep often)/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" Diagnosis: bi-polar disorder, acute depression, schizophrenia, insomnia/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" GAF 25/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" Future therapy: patient will undergo weekly therapy sessions with psychologist and see psychiatrist monthly to monitor levels of Rx as well as check-in to impede another psychotic break. Patient not suited to continue studies at college./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" Cost $ /span/p  
p class="p2" /p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" Signed zzz zzz 00/00/0000/span/p  
p class="p2"/***/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2" The ruffling of an envelope and papers were heard from a small room. He purposefully made his presence known and heard the papers being put back in place. His mother or father was hiding the fact that they were reading over what his psychiatrist wrote about him. Time to begin the grueling process of sharing a family meal./span/p 


	2. Chapter 2

p class="p1"span class="s1" The sun rose on the last morning Johnny would spend in his home, but it's not his home, not anymore. He had to bring the boxes to the car now. But, it felt as though the boxes weren't filled with his art, it was filled with his heavy-hearted regrets./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" By the time he went downstairs, his parents were also packing the last of their belongings. He walked towards the car and maneuvered the boxes so his could fit in the trunk as well./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Remember when we went on that date?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Johnny was startled by the sudden noise of someone speaking. He turned around and saw his neighbor and relaxed./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "It wasn't a date."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Still saying that, huh? Well, whatever it was, that doesn't matter, does it? Since you're moving, I don't expect you to call or write. I want to give you something so you remember me. Ta-da!"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" The girl showed her trophy from the eating contest. Johnny clearly was trying to hold back a grimace due to his disdain towards the wretched Burger Boy./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Th-thanks..."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Yeah, yeah. I know, you hate it. But it holds some importance about our relationship. Right? Kind of terrifying like this weirdo." She shook the Burger Boy. "But, a little, endearing?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "You should probably paint it. It fits your theme. Horrors of everyday life."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" She laughed. "Oh, Johnny. You joker." She choked a little on the last word. As she straightened up she looked him in the eyes, "You can't change yourself by just changing the scenery around you. You have to want to change, Johnny."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "...I." He stammered syllables./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "We're not kids, you know? And yet, I feel like I don't understand what's going on at all."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Johnny's silence meant he concurred./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "I guess this is good-bye. So long. Farewell. Blah blah blah." She smiled, but it wasn't a happy smile. "Wherever you go, take this guy with you. It's sort of like a good luck charm."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Thanks. I'll treasure it forever."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Fucking joker."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" They laughed a quiet laugh./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Well, I gotta get going, too. Spring break's over. Time to hit the books. Psych! See you around, Johnny C. Don't forget me when you're rich and famous!"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" They departed. Even though they both knew that phone calls and e-mails were easy, this was the last time they would see each other. The distant feeling of a last good-bye shrouds you for a long time. Perhaps, the lingering feeling is bittersweet because this moment will be your strongest. Over time, we forget. But now? The taste is most potent./span/p  
p class="p2" /p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" The whole car ride consisted of watching the scenery pass him by, even though he was the one in the car actually passing things. The colors blended like his painting palette. You can get lost in a reverie easily when you're not the driver./span/p  
p class="p2" /p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Hey!"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Hmm? Oh, hi."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "How've you been?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "All right. Only direction to go from here is up! I hope."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Oh, you're such a joker." She stuck her tongue out./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "You're dressed up for a Thursday."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Oh yeah. I totally am. Ain't I a looker?" She posed for a quick second, "I don't know if it's in poor taste but would you like to go to my gallery?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Eh, I don't know if I'm allowed on campus."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Good, it's not on campus. It's in the city. After I grab some things from inside, hopefully a sandwich my father is making me as we speak, I'm heading over."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Oh goodie, a car ride with Sir-who-would-like-to-throw-me-into-a-fire."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "God, Johnny. He's not going. He already saw all my work and dealt with the horrible cries of woe while I was working on them and he helped me set-up. Now will you please come with me?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" He made a bitter face, cringing at the thought of being in a room filled with strangers but remembered he had to get out more, "Fine."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Great! Now go put on something dapper! Be back after my sandwich!"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Wait - what?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" She was already running to her sandwich, "You heard me!"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Mumbling and clearly upset, Johnny went inside./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" The gallery was filled with one brand of person he could remotely stand: artists. Now there were different types of artists of course, dabbling in different mediums, but they all had a common goal and that was to express themselves. Johnny only changed his shirt, from a black tee to a black button-down. He still wore his tight black pants and boots, but it didn't matter to many people inside./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Thanks for standing next to me. Like you're my boyfriend." The girl stuck her tongue out and smirked. "It's good it's an art show. You're not scaring away the fish."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Whatever."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "You mean 'you're welcome.'"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" She repeatedly told her tales and the histories of her pieces to onlookers. Discussed mediums, imagery, and inspiration hourly. Her enthusiasm shined on through and she even sold a piece to a nice couple that thought it would 'bring some life into the living room.' They then laughed. They thought it was funny, but she didn't. Her art wasn't abstract, but it definitely was modern. She liked depicting everyday situations, and the situations she chose were of atrocities. Accidents. Horrors of everyday life. The sold piece was a painting of a car crashing into another at such a velocity one driver's body broke the windshield of the other car. When asked her style and choice of musings, she always answered, "I dunno. Maybe to remind people not to get desensitized? But maybe my art's doing the opposite. But I'm an artist and I like the irony in that." Johnny would laugh internally and watch people not know how to respond. The night went on for hours./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" After the show was over and people packed up and got ready to leave, she realized how hungry she was./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Oh man, I haven't eaten this whole time. I gotta get something to eat. You up for it?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "I guess so."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "It takes a lot out of you to stand and stare and make people uncomfortable, huh?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Johnny never knew how to exactly respond to her. She was always joking and was forward. He could only play along each and every time. "Well, staring at paintings of car wrecks and people drowning does work up an appetite in me."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Hah! Right on, right on. Well, let's head out. There's a pretty cool 24-hour diner on the way home. It has some strange concoctions. Let's try it out."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Okay."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" The car ride was fluid. This girl was one of the only people Johnny felt comfortable around. She never showed any distaste towards him, unlike the other 99.9% of humanity. He never understood why./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "And like, the professor was all 'If you don't do this assignment the way I assigned it young lady I'm failing you' to which I replied 'I did all the requirements and if you don't like it I can go to the registrar and tell them you're sleeping with so-and-so.' The nerve of that guy. Y'know?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Heh, yeah."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Oh, I'm sorry Johnny. I guess it's pretty lame of me to talk about college when you're on leave. I'll shut up now."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "No, no, it's fine. I can live vicariously through you. Although, I'm glad I didn't meet this professor while I was there."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Eh, he's not so bad. He just wants all the cubists to be abstract and all the abtracts to be welders or something. You can't just switch up your style for a grade."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Sure you can. You just won't. I like that about you."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Oh, uh, thanks. I guess."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "You're welcome."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" She blew bubbles into her drink and sighed into her milkshake when the food arrived. Her plate was placed in front of her and her eyes seemed to gleam./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "All right!" She gripped a burger the size of her face, "Oh hey, if I finish this in 40 minutes. Don't I get some sort of prize?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" The waitress looked confused, "Oh, you want to be timed? It's 3 a.m., young lady."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "I know the time, I also know my gender. And yeah! I want to win."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Uh, sure." The old waitress grabbed a timer from the kitchen, came back, wound it up, and set it on the table. "We don't get many girls doing this."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Well, she's not like most girls."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" She only gave a thumbs-up with her face in the burger./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Also, the fries, dear." The waitress walked away shaking her head and the unladylike behavior./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Johnny watched her eat as he nibbled on his food. His eyes were wide and he didn't know what to say. Is that any good? Is that why you wanted to come here? Wait - why are you doing this? Before he could choose a good enough question to voice, fifteen minutes passed and she was still eating. He hoped she didn't choke, he didn't know the Heimlich Maneuver. But they were at a diner, someone had to know it. He could only hope. Finally, she took a long breath./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "You can't stop, y'know? Or else then your body has time to feel full. Gotta keep eating!"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" He only nodded at her. Wondering who she was talking to. Herself or him? Both? The incessant ticking of the timer was starting to grind at his ears. But he kept watching her devour her food as he only snacked on his. Ten minutes left, and surprisingly she was almost done./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Gotta finish. Why start something if you're not going to finish?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Are you trying to teach me a life lesson right now?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "No way. I'm teaching myself a life lesson."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "What?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "No more questions, Johnny. Can't you see I'm busy?" She looked up from her food and smiled at him./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" She only had some fries left. She was going to finish it before the timer ran out. The waitress came back to see if she would do it or not. And at 3 a.m., the chefs and other waitresses had time to watch as well. She made a sickened face at the last of her food, but inhaled deeply and went for it. The fries stayed in her cheeks, filled up like a chipmunk, but she soon swallowed and sunk into her seat./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "With time to spare." She had a headache and laughed at herself./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" The timer went off and small claps were heard from the staff./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Woo!" She raised her arms in the air and waved them about, then put them down. "Sometimes, Johnny, it's the stupid things in life that are actually the most meaningful."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "What?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "I dunno. A sense of accomplishment maybe?" There was a pause, "Yeah, I showed off my artwork in a gallery tonight. To strangers. People who will forget my name in a few days, maybe they already did. But, this moment, hah, this moment I'll never forget."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" The atmosphere was broken by the waitress./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "You won your very own Bubz Burger Boy! Congratulations!"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Johnny made a disagreeable face to the novelty. It was a repellent fat boy in overalls holding up a burger that was bigger than both his hands. Rosy cheeks and twinkling eyes aside, it was kind of unnerving. But she liked it all the same, she probably liked it so much because it made Johnny so uneasy./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Well, my first trophy from an eating contest. Maybe I should quit school and do this for a living?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "If all the trophies look like human disasters, then sure!"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Hah-hah! On that note, let's go home. The sun will rise soon and I don't want to lose my superpowers!"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" The world was rotating on its axis as usual. The sky began to change colors. From deep indigo to pale forever. /span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Wanna come inside?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "I'm not flame-retardant. I don't want your father setting me on fire."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Oh, Johnny. Will you get over thinking my dad is gonna set you on fire?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "I can see it in his eyes." He stared into her front window./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "It's 4 a.m. and my room is upstairs." /span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Huh."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "What?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "I live in the upstairs room in my house."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Cool, I'll have to check it out sometime. You know, cross notes and figures. But seriously, come on. Please?" She blinked at him and held up her prize./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Fine, just - get that thing out of my face."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Hah-hah, you can be friends!"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" They quietly snuck upstairs and closed her door./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "See? No fire."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "So far."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Eh, you. Now where should I put him?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "In a closet."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "You no like? I don't know, I sort of like it. It's cute. Memorabilia to commemorate our date."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "What?! This wasn't a date."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Oh, yes it was. I asked you out. You said yes. We did stuff. A date."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "You never told me it was a date."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Oh, Johnny. So funny." She put the trophy on her bureau. "It kind of doesn't fit in anywhere."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "It's a fat kid with a hamburger. It's only gonna fit in at a barbecue. Or a trash-can."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Eh, I'll find a place for it." She tilted her head as if thinking how she could incorporate it into her art. The thought was fleeting, it was late. "I think I'll freshen up a bit. I feel like I walked through a tunnel of fast food."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "...?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" She left the room and Johnny was stuck sitting on her bed, faced with the trophy. He couldn't stand being in the room alone with it. If this was anything like his house, there would be a second smaller room across the hall with a bathroom. He left her room and saw he was right, the first time coming upstairs it was pitch black and couldn't see, but the faint light from her room showed him a second door. He opened it. As he assumed, her art room. He did the same thing. As an artist too, he didn't think he should look at her work in case she was upset when people looked at her unfinished pieces, or her work without permission in general, but he did anyway. The flickering on of a light and he saw the room was filled with canvases and acrylics. Paintbrushes were all stashed in jars and palettes were in a corner. He saw a photograph pinned to a wall and a canvas setup on an easel before it. It was of a room completely wrecked to hell. Upon closer inspection, it was of an art studio big enough to fit twenty people, more if you squished. Belongings everywhere, tables overturned, glass and paint all over the floor./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "It's of the day you left."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Wha-what?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Remember? I sat next to you in class. We started painting. Someone said something that set you off, and then that was the aftermath. Of your psychotic break."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "You took a picture?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "No, it wasn't me. The professor did for damages. I just took a copy."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Why?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Why not? Isn't this the type of thing I paint?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "No. You paint people flying through car windshields or OD'ing. This has no one in it."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "It means a lot to me. I really have a vision for this picture to paint. To create."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "That's so selfish."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "What?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Using my pain for your art."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Hah, that's funny. Always the joker, Johnny."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "I'm not joking. This is cruel."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "You never said anything when I paint people drowning. And, you know what? You're the selfish one. Sometimes I wonder if there is anything wrong with you. You want all this pain for yourself, and to not share it with anyone. You haven't opened up to anyone about anything since then. You think you're such a burden when there's people out there who want to help you. But you can't even see that because you're clouded with such an ego sometimes. Like no one can understand you, like ever, because you're so damn deep."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" He sat on the floor, looking down. She stood in the doorway, filled with so much emotion she was about to cry. Hesitantly, she balled her fists and walked slowly towards him but he made no effort to show acknowledgement. She stooped beside him and then put her head on his shoulder./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "I'm sorry. That went too far. I got carried away. I'm tired and full of grease."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" He didn't respond./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "My emotions got the better of me. It's just been so hard to get to you after that incident. You became distant, cold even. Although you live next door, you seem like a world away."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" It was a good sign that he didn't brush her off of him. So she put her forehead on his and embraced him. She felt him tense under her touch./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Johnny, I do care about you. You know that, right?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" He waited a long time to respond, maybe a week in dog-years, "I... know."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Good."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" She leaned back to look him in the eyes. Johnny was so skinny and frail looking. /span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Great ending to the perfect date, right?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Heh, yeah. A date with me."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "We entered the same college because of the art program. And somehow our dreams have been hindered. Both of us."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Johnny pondered the meaning behind her words for a while. And as the first rays of sunlight began to shine, he could feel sleep, for the first time, takeover comfortably. He didn't fight it./span/p  
p class="p2" /p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"***/span/p  
p class="p2" /p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" The sun on his face woke him up. She was sleeping next to him and they somehow were under a blanket. He didn't remember how, but it was there. He didn't know what to do. Wake her up? Leave? What if her father was downstairs? What time was it? Should he jump out the window?/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "You should totally jump out the window?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Johnny was confused. That wasn't her voice. She was sleeping. That wasn't his voice. It wasn't her fire-father's voice. Who was it?/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Yeah. Try it. I think you'd survive. Jump out the window."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "What? No. That's weird. I'll get hurt."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "We won't let you get hurt. You can't get hurt. Jump out the window. I bet it's fun!"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "That's utter ridiculousness. I am not going to jump out the window."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "DO IT."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" It's complete and utter nonsense to jump out a second-story window. But, Johnny suddenly felt like he could. Was it because he finally was able to get some sleep? He felt rejuvenated./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "All right! I'm jumping out a window!"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" He got up on his feet. Opened the window. Looked down. Whoa, he was definitely high up. But he felt something inside himself, he won't be hurt. He couldn't be hurt. Not anymore. Not by outside sources. He was definitely invincible./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" He jumped./span/p  
p class="p2" /p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"***/span/p  
p class="p2" /p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"Suddenly, the car stopped and Johnny broke his chain of memories. They arrived. Here stood a rather small-ish house, in which, his family was to make into a home. The huge yards would be a hassle to mow, but other than that, it seemed well-fitted to their needs. Simply, somewhere new./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" His father unlocked the door and walked inside, then his mother, and finally himself. They were like animals, cautiously inspecting their new surroundings. /span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "So, the larger room will be dad and my room. So, that leaves the back room, that will be yours. It's quietest back there so you can concentrate on your painting, and when the time comes, studying again." His mother gave a sheepish smile./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" Johnny understood but didn't answer. Then, he noticed a door. He jiggled the doorknob. But it was locked./span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "What about this room?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "What... room?"/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "The one right here."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" "Sweety, there's no door there. There's no room."/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" His mother made another mental note for the new psychiatrist./span/p  
p class="p2" /p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"em The door will open. It unlocks when you paint over it with blood./em/span/p  
p class="p2" /p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" The voices followed me here, too?/span/p  
p class="p2" /p  
p class="p1"span class="s1" The first murder. The only family he had./span/p  
p class="p2" /p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"***/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s2"strongemEpilogue/em/strong/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"emI know that this style is completely out of character to the fans of JTHM. But, I wanted to get a glimpse into Johnny's life before the overtaking of his psyche. Being able to mull over this work for a decade, I felt I had to write down my thoughts. In essence, I believe Johnny's life to be painfully mundane before we met him. I purposefully did not explain how the female character looks or give her a name, we only understand her through her personality. She is like a ghost. Unknown./em/span/p  
p class="p1"span class="s1"emThank you for reading./em/span/p 


End file.
